Has Theo Lost His Mind!?

SI.com - In a bold move, the Chicago Cubs have signed 50-year old utility man Clancy King to a one year contract.  He is due to report to Cincinnati this week to join the team for their 3-game series with the Reds.  According to Team President Theo Epstein, King has potential with the team.  "If the Nationals can call up a 19-year old phenom, why can't we sign someone thirty years older?  Have you seen Soriano try to play the outfield?  Have you seen third baseman Ian Stewart's batting average?  Have you seen closer Carlos Marmol try to throw strikes? If he gets one in his wheel house he can do some damage." Epstein added, "We liked what we saw.  He showed up with cookies and beer."

Supposedly, King possessed an average arm and above average speed in his younger days.  The question is, what's still left in the tank?  Manager Dale Sveum commented, "We took a look at him in spring training.  He found his seat, the restrooms and food without assistance.  He wore sun screeen which is important for someone on chemotherapy.  I understand he is close to being off the chemo and with the two stem cell transplants he may be the next Steve Austin."  The Austin reference is to the star of the 1970's television series The Six Million Dollar Man.

One thing all Cubfans are hoping is the team didn't put six million into this experiment.  Jamie Moyer may be winning games for Colorado at 49, but at least he's only been out of baseball for a short time. 

Payne Enthias is a regular contributor to this site.

A Beautiful Wedding

Todd, Clancy and Bill got together at the wedding of Todd's daughter on April 14.  Terez'a was a beautiful bride and Todd gave a great toast.  The Daddy/Daughter dance was YouTube-worthy and should appear there soon.  It's rumored Bill was still talking at 3 am, meanwhile Captain Chemo was home and asleep by 9:15pm.  Congratulations to Terez'a and Kevin.

The editorial staff would like to apologize for not updating this site more often.  Preparations for a Chicago Cubs World Series victory party have taken precedence.  Yes, it's never too early to plan for an event like that.

Clancy heads back to Salt Lake in early May for his final quarterly visit.  Lots of tests, bone marrow aspirate and MRI are scheduled.  If the news is good there should be better days on the horizon.  He describes his days as "feeling crummy all the time with 2-3 days of feeling really crummy every other week". It's similar to having the flu. This is caused by the chemo (Revlimid), steroid (Dexamethasone) and a bevvy of prophylaxis.  He will not miss the daily abdominal injections of blood thinner either. Our crack staff will be there and let you know how it goes.

Finally, blessed be the memory of Don Dulle of Whitefish.  Don passed away last week after battling pancreatic cancer for two years.  Before they started treatment, he told Clancy, "We're gonna beat this."  His words inspired Clancy through many miserable days.  The world lost a fine man last week.